Is it too soon for sexist jokes?

As I've already written before, there's little that infuriates me more than self-righteous, "progressive" men who call themselves feminists but continue to subtlety, piercingly, patronize women as though we're handicapped for simply being women. Eventually, this low-key sexism will be made clear because this breed of man will unknowingly slip and make a blatantly sexist remark, trying to dismiss it as a joke. Not too long ago, anincident of this sort happened,and naturally, it's got me questioning whether our societies, schools, communities are really as egalitarian as they claim to be.

Now, brushing cultural practices and norms aside, is it too soon for us to be making sexist jokes? We live in a world where "rape" is used metaphorically to describe mundane situations and rape victims have called us out on this multiple times- we're belittling the crime, making it seem unimportant and petty. I guess that it what jokes do: provide comic relief when things are getting too serious. It's a way of saying "hey! This isn't that big of a deal. It's actually funny if you think about it. Let's laugh at it." So have we really moved into an era where there's comedy to be recognized in sexism? How about slavery? Anti-Semitism? Xenophobia? The Holocaust? The KKK? Genocide? Virtually any form of oppression, for that matter? Have we really eradicated all oppression to the point that there's nothing left but to laugh about it?

What is especially problematic of 21st century sexism is that it's so deeply engrained into our minds, we don't recognize it. Yes, women can vote and do go school (in most places, at least) but women are not expected to get too involved in politics or excel too much in academics (especially the sciences) or they'll lose their sex-appeal and become freaks. There's a very clear dichotomy between what's written in our laws and what actually happens in reality. Women are supposed to obsess over make-up and their looks whilst men are considered "gay" or "fags" if they do so too. If a woman doesn't conform to these standards, she's an angsty, fugly shrew. Anyone else notice the allusions to Anybodys from West Side Story or Kat Stratford from 10 Things I Hate About You? Has anything truly changed in the last few decades? 

While few will come right out and be explicitly sexist, have you noticed the spike in hyper-masculinity in recent years as some men are increasingly defying gender norms by wear make-up and feminine clothes? It's as though the other men are trying to salvage their manhood by being uber fuckboys, gym freaks, gang rapists for the "street cred." Because ultimately, even if no one will come right out and say it: there's nothing worse than being a girl. Think about it. What are common phrases to express confidence and bravery? "Strap on/grow a pair," "Have the balls to..." How about frailty and weakness? "Stop being a pussy." Quite frankly, the actual tragedy here is that people of all genders use these phrases, completely oblivious to the fact they are dripping of sexism.

There is little to look forward to if laws and legislature change to be more feminist (i.e. equal rights for all people regardless of their gender, not whatever ignorant misconception far too many people have of feminism) but our mentalities don't. Oppression, of all forms, is alive and breathing, folks. And there's little to laugh about when this very oppression is the reason people are being denied basic rights, an education, fair trials after they've been raped, confidence to pursue their dreams without constantly being told that they need to be careful not to become too successful, too threatening, or too unattractive or they'll risk scaring away potential spouses. Sesixm is not exclusively a Saudi Arabian issue nor is it a scar in our history we can blissfully rub over and crack jokes about; it is a wound we have refused to let heal. Cracking jokes about sexism or any type of oppression is distasteful, ignorant and offensive. Whether the victims of that form of oppression are in the room or not, you're still feeding into the inherent sexism of our societies. 

This is not to say that comedy cannot be used to make a point about a social issue. Take Trevor Noah, for instance, pre-The Daily Show; he would use his brilliant wit to comment on racism and politics in South Africa. Nevertheless, recklessly constructed jokes mocking the oppression of many, is definitely not okay. It is pouring salt over seething wounds without even realizing how deep and infectious it is. It most certainly is too soon to be making sexist jokes, far too soon.

The Conditionality of "Absolute Truth."

This started of as a rant to my Bible teacher after a relatively thought-provoking class last week, and has now turned into my first blog post in months. Happy reading, and I'd love to hear your feedback on how effective I am in disproving Erwin Schrödinger. Yes, he was the man with the cat and the box. Looking forward to any radical, intelligent conversation this (paper?) evokes.



There is no such thing as “the truth.” –Well, at least not in this realm anyway.

Me: What or who do you believe, or at least in accordance with the philosophy you teach, decides where we’re born and the conditions of our lives? I mean, who dictates that I’m born in Tanzania to certain parents with a certain income and I’ll look this way? And who dictates that this baby will be born to Prince William and will be the future king of England?
Bible Teacher: [Something about God deciding]
Me: Well, then does that mean that a baby born to Buddhist parents, something God chose for it, will automatically be going to hell, whether it dies in infancy or grows up in the same religion, because it failed to “accept Jesus” and the live the way a Christian should? I, myself, am Catholic and I’m this way because of the family I come from. I was baptised as a Catholic and have been going to Mass my entire life. Yes, of course as we grow older, we begin asking questions and making our own decisions on what cast/denomination/religion we belong to but in essence, where we’re born and how we are brought up influences this greatly, if not completely. So does and will God truly hold you against a decision he made based on his will; a decision you had no control over?

As a Catholic, I believe my religion to be infallible and the “right, true one”. As a Protestant, you [Bible teacher] most likely believe the same of your religion. Had I been born to Muslim parents, I’d probably have the same belief of Islam i.e. the Qur’an is complete truth and would have been a die-hard Muslim (pun not intended). But as you [Bible teacher] yourself said; believing something is true does not make it true. You can have all the faith in the world and believe something with all your heart, mind, and soul but ultimately that doesn’t make it true. Caitlyn Jenner believes he’s a woman with all his might and so do millions too, but that still doesn’t make it true. I believe in purgatory, for example, when people die that’s where I believe they initially go and I pray for their souls to be saved. From purgatory. You clearly don’t believe that. Hindus believe, again with all their might, that when they die, they will be reincarnated. There are some with such powerful beliefs that they will gladly commit suicide, solely to prove that they WILL be reincarnated as a cow. But even with those immense degrees of belief, it still simply does not make it true. Even with Christianity, we believe in the divinity of Jesus and are gladly willing to sacrifice all for his sake. Others will argue that no, Jesus was simply a prophet and it’s blasphemous to call him God. Others will say that no, Jesus of Nazareth was just an ordinary man and the only thing special about him was his talent to be a believable, chronic liar and was probably romantically linked to Mary Magdalene, anyway. Christians can refute these claims bitterly but ultimately, that’s all we have; faith. Something my dad’s always told me is that when you start asking too many questions about religion, it reaches a point that reason and logic become inapplicable e.g. when explaining miracles, yes you can believe that Jesus turned that water into wine but you don’t know how, you simply have to accept it and have faith in its credibility.

In class yesterday, you talked about “the absolute truth.” In terms of religion, this is absolutely true i.e. ultimately there is only one religion that’s true however nobody can say that “Unlike others, I am not claiming that my religion is true simply because I believe it’s true but rather that I believe in my religion because it’s true.” This is because ultimately we can’t know. Despite what we, as Christians, believe and no matter how strong we believe it, we, to the core of it can simply claim it’s true because we believe it to be so. Judaism could after all be right and Jesus could just have been an ordinary man. Yes, we can argue this but what are we arguing with? Faith. In the divinity of Jesus Christ. We can’t know what’s out there ergo no one, absolutely no one, can claim they do because then they’re not telling us what actually is but rather what they believe actually is. Even as a Catholic, a priest can stand up on the altar and read the Gospel from the Bible and tell us what he believes to be true and we can soak in his words and also start believing what he taught us, but that simply does not make it true.
So, what is true? I can respond to that by saying God and the Bible and the Church. Billions will agree with me, billions will not. We make these statement, have these arguments, on the belief and faith that what we’re saying is true but that does not make it so. Ultimately, yes, we can’t all be right. We can’t live in a universe where both the Holy Trinity and Vishnu and the Big Bang Theory and the Torah is right (I mean we could since God can do anything but my point still stands, there is only one truth). So yes, somewhere out there, the heavens or oblivion or whatever it is your faith leads you to call it, there is absolute truth but we don’t have it here, in the material realm, we only have faith… not knowledge. And ultimately there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that per se, since religion is driven by faith not actual knowledge and certainty (even if you claim what your saying is backed up with knowledge and certainty, you’re simply saying that you believe what your saying is backed up with knowledge and certainty). Therefore, we there is no such thing as “absolute truth” in this realm. And yes, others can argue that ultimately one of the religions we have here on earth is true and if it’s true in the spiritual realm it’s also true in this realm. This is true but we don’t know which one it is and what is actually true since we, again, only have faith and beliefs. So, yes, let’s assume some of us are right and Christianity turns out to be the one true faith but it will only become the “certified truth” when backed up with knowledge and certainty. Right now, in this very moment, even if it turns out to be true, in our realm, it’s simply “a possibility of the truth many people believe in.” And I know, others will argue that just because we don’t know whether it’s true or not does not change its credibility and this argument makes sense e.g. just because a colour-blind person sees red as green doesn’t mean that it stops being green when the colour-blind person looks at it since he doesn’t know it. What’s green will always stay green. What religion is true will always stay true. What changes is that if you put another colour-blind person besides the initial colour-blind person and the 2nd one sees purple instead of green, neither one of them can claim their colour is right. Bring in a third person with perfect vision who ends up seeing the green, they also can’t claim that it is green because they don’t know the truth, they simply have the faith that it’s green. So, similar to religion, until the truth has been revealed by God (a statement I make with faith, not certainty), we don’t know what’s true so we can’t claim we do. Our hypotheses may be right in the end but at this point, it’s simply a hypothesis until it’s verified.

I understand my philosophy bears resemblances to Schrödinger’s cat, who Schrödinger claimed was both alive and dead simultaneously when put in a confined box. I disagree. The cat is simply in a box and one can believe if it’s dead or not but until the box is opened, the claim cannot be made. Just because we don’t know the condition of the cat, it doesn’t change the possibilities of the condition of the cat. The cat is not both alive and dead, nor neither; the cat is one of them, but we can’t claim which one, yet. Yes, later on, one of them will be right but in the moment, when the box is still closed, the cat’s condition cannot be classified as “the truth” since no argument can be backed up with knowledge of “that” truth. Therefore, until the box is opened, the entire notion of “absolute truth” vanishes and does not exist. Hence my thesis stands, “absolute truth”; a definitive statement bearing the ultimate, factual truth, does not exist. Well, at least not in this realm, anyway.

You've got to be cold to be Queen

http://dailygossipgirlgifs.tumblr.com/post/119690305109

Being a woman is not a disability.

     I only recently classified myself as a feminist. Before hand, I was under the impression that I had never been discriminated because of my gender so naturally, feminism didn't quite interest me. I don't know exactly what it was that led me here but I have realized that simply because I've never been groped and raped, doesn't mean I haven't suffered sexism. There is something deeply wrong with the word if  a woman can be on the ugly end of sexism and not even realize it.
     I began reevaluating the principle of feminism a few weeks ago when my best friend told me she wasn't allowed to come to the annual school carnival as it started at 7pm and there would be men who could harm her and as a girl, her father believed it was unsafe for her to attend. Her brother was allowed to go. He's younger than her.
     These thoughts were magnified a couple of weeks later when another one of my friends had his nudes leaked by his ex-girlfriend. Some friends and I were talking when he (the friend who had the nudes leaked) said he was looking for his old phone which contained his ex's nudes which he wanted to counter-leak. Everybody was like "no, don't do that". I believed that we were all on the same page; telling him not to leak her nudes as revenge was wrong. He had to be the bigger person and not stoop down to that level. I believed that we were trying to convince him not to fight fire with fire and just let go of all the drama. But then, this boy justified his idea to not leak her nudes by saying "C'mon, she's a girl. You can't leak a girl's nudes as it'll ruin her.". One of my girlfriends' leaned over to me and whispered "Wow, I didn't know he was a feminist. It's cute." I on the other hand , have never felt so insulted.
     Maybe that's not the best example of feminism and no, I'm not encouraging womens' nudes to be leaked or anything but that mentality is wrong on so many different levels. Then, it hit me; sexism is not exclusive to men who openly disrespect and objectify women, it includes all those men who parade around claiming to be feminists but treat women like inferiors; children!
     All those people who say "You can't do that because she's a girl.", "Come on, she's a girl, you know we have to treat them differently", are the worst of the sexists because not only do they believe they are noble and worthy, they lead women to believe they are being respected but in reality they are not. Being a woman is not a disability. We do not need special care and to be treated like fragile eggs or flowers. There is a fine line between treating a woman right and treating a woman as if she's handicapped or a child, and that's a line way too many people cross blindly.
     And as feminists, I believe that's the first problem we should tackle; dismantling these double standards that plague society. Men and women do not get the same consequences for the same actions. I remember so many times I tried to do the same thing a boy could do and get off freely for, the consequences have always been disastrous. Additionally, parents should not teach their daughters that they can not accomplish something simply because they are girls. Equality is something we should work endlessly to achieve. And besides, "Well-behaved women seldom make history." -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
     When I logged on to twitter this afternoon, "#EveryDaySexism" was trending, I was immediately swept up by the movement and the response I've gotten is mind-numbing. I have never received such a response on any social media before and below are the tweets that have ignited this passion in me. Men and women both, and I stress this, should learn to understand and teach their children that being a woman is not a misfortune or a disability, it's an honor and it's okay.
 

Having a curfew of 7pm and not being allowed to go parties or dances because "you're a girl. It's unsafe. Men can harm you." #EveryDaySexism

— Lorraine Reynold (@LorraineDinds) April 16, 2015

@LorraineDinds @EverydaySexism Following that logic, men should be given a 7pm curfew in case they harm anyone

— Sascha Evans (@SaschaEv) April 16, 2015

Being told I can't be a successful structural engineer as it involves a lot of field work and "I'm such a girl". #EveryDaySexism

— Lorraine Reynold (@LorraineDinds) April 16, 2015

@LorraineDinds I got told the same and I'm graduating in July as a chemical engineer. Go for it! Do what YOU want 😊

— MissSunshine (@NicoleLRJ) April 16, 2015

@LorraineDinds @EverydaySexism Many of the finest engineers I know are female. Skill and gender are orthogonal traits.

— Matt Marsh (@marshmat) April 16, 2015

Je Suis Charlie

     I believe one of the worst crimes committed daily are these rotten people bombing civilians at the workplace, slaughtering innocent women and children just because, targeting public malls with tourists and locals, kidnapping little girls from school and marrying them off or killing them, kidnapping little boys from home to rot their mind with utter nonsense, all in the name of Allah. These acts of terror only reminds us that these cowards are the very core of inhumanness. Islam is a beautiful faith. Stop exploiting it to justify evil. Tell me where in the Holy Qu'ran does your God encourage senseless savagery, murder of his innocent creations, children nonetheless? Where does he send you to imitate a barbaric beast all behind masks and caves? Islam is a harmonious belief with some of the sweetest, kindest, most humble people on earth.And it is for them I remain unable to sleep at odd hours of the night. You suffer persecution, hate, abuse because these certain monsters cannot understand your faith and carry out what God truly intended when he put us on earth. Instead they unleash evil into the world. I am sorry. I truly am.

The Merchant of Venice

The Venetian Times

An insight into the controversial Antonio vs. Shylock trial

     By Lorraine Dindi

     Contrary to what most people speculated, the events of the most talked about topic in all of Venice proved to be utterly shocking. The high profile trial of a respected Venetian merchant whose overseas’ estate suffered a horrific fate just last week; Antonio Carrolizzi drew a lot of attention from media and society. He was being sued by infamous Jewish usurer and synagogue owner; Shylock Ushkowitz. The trial gathered a lot of attention when an anonymous source reported the terms of the forfeited contract to a local news broadcasting network. It was reported that the almost impoverished nobleman, Bassanio Rossi borrowed three thousand ducats in Antonio’s name, from the Jewish moneylender. The collateral Antonio confidently agreed to, was a pound of flesh closest to his heart.

     Upon discovering this information, many Venetians believed it was a merry bond and Shylock was not serious. Attitudes changed when a video was leaked by a now-sacked jailer, showing Shylock viciously promising to carry out the contract to a helpless Antonio. Shylock repeatedly shouting “I’ll have my bond” appalled many Christians and caused a rift between the Christian and Jewish communities.

     The Christians said that this was further proof of the ‘canine-like’ nature employed by the ruthless ‘devils’. Venetian Jews retaliated by claiming Shylock had a right to revenge due to the persecution and stigma Jews face daily, and Christian men ‘preying’ on young Jewish girls. This turned out to be a reference to the recent elopement of Shylock’s daughter, Jessica Ushkowitz with Christian nobleman, Lorenzo Camillo.

     The elopement itself was a topic of gossip amongst the city after Shylock was portrayed in yet another scandalous video, grieving his daughter’s betrayal and theft on the rugged marketplace streets, not too far from the Rialto.

     It was announced that the Duke would be mediating the trial. While Shylock vouched to testify for himself in the courtroom, Antonio was to be represented by Paduan Attorney General, Dr Giovanni Bellario. Bellario failed to be in attendance but sent an apprentice, Marco Balthazar. Balthazar is a candidate for a Doctorate in Italian Laws and Constitutions from the University of Milan.

     The trial began with the Duke and other intercessors pleading Shylock for mercy. In attendance were several Magnificoes, noblemen and friends of Antonio including socialites Pacco Gratiano and Rabbani Salerio. Bassanio was also present. Shylock refused to pardon Antonio despite offers form his arbitrators for thrice the initial loan. The Jew opted to keep mum about his reasons.

     The entrance of Balthazar turned the tables. The civil doctor gave a moving speech about the relationship between justice and mercy and their influence to our salvation. The Jury seemed untouched and the final verdict was announced shortly after; Shylock was to have his bond.

     Antonio delivered his final words, ironically they were directed to Bassanio who had even offered to take his place. However, while Shylock was preparing his knife and scales, Balthazar revealed loopholes in the contract. Legally, Shylock was only entitled to flesh, any blood that was spilt would be illegal. He also had to remove precisely a pound, no more no less. Depressed, Shylock decided to give up his vengeance and opted for the financial reparations instead, which were then also denied to him. Balthazar then pointed to the Jury that according to Venetian law, it was illegal for a foreigner to conspire murder against a native. The Duke and a happy Antonio spared Shylock his life but half his fortune was confiscated and the other half was inscribed in his will to be passed onto Jessica and her lover, Lorenzo. Disgraced and defeated, Shylock left the court in shame.

     Three of Antonio’s ships have been reported safe and it is being said Bassanio and Gratiano paid Balthazar and his clerk heavily, for saving the life of their friend. However, the division between the Jews and the Christians has only deepened with the outcome of the trial. The streets of Venice are flooding with racial slurs and acts of vandalism have been conveyed. 

2014.

    As the year comes to an end I have been basking in a pool dense with self-reflection. It is within this pool I have discovered who and where I am now, and I am immensely dissatisfied. For too long society has had a tight clutch on my fire and it is due time to cut that damned tie; like a crop with a poisoned scythe. 
      I have always and still do, believe in the person I want to be come but believing is simply not enough. I have to be that person. I have to make choices and advocate changes that may not necessarily be for the betterment of society, but for my own sanity. I have grown insane living in a fantasy. I yearn for reality; both the good and the bad; both the enemies and the friends. I realized I was not where I needed to be a few weeks ago and I did something about it; I apologized. I swallowed my pride and buried my ego and approached my adversaries and came to peace with them, and subsequently myself. 
      I recently also told the truth to someone very special to me, it was difficult, and tremendously painful but I got through it. When I went to bed that night I felt horrid but it was not until the next day where I found peace with myself and realized something very important; I do not have the space, energy or time to fight for people who do not value being fought for, -there are some people worth melting for and others who simply are not. 
     We have more control over our destinies than most people seem to realize. Anyways, what I am trying to say is that I would rather have everyone hate me for being myself than like me for being someone else. I feel that I have been trying so hard to have the perfect life and be perfect that I am losing sense of who I truly am, and I want that to change. I am not perfect, I am not this person. I am a pessimistic, narcissistic, anti-social diva. And, no, I do not want to be that, I want to be someone else. But, MY someone else, not everyone elses’ someone else. And, I genuinely believe my solitude is the best way for me to become the woman I want to become, and I have surrounded myself with people who are not supportive of me. So, basically, my new year’s resolution is to become the person I believe in. And, a lot of sacrifices will have to be made and I am willing to make them, I am willing to give up my perfect life for my happiness. I apologize in advance for not having everyone else’s interests in mind but I have to do this –for myself, for my sanity, for my dreams. Because, becoming the person I want to be is the most important step in becoming the woman I want to be. All the dreams and all the lights.